MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT
August 97
Greetings Fellow Members,
I was a bit disappointed with the attendance at the July meeting. The presenters almost outnumbered the rest of the group. I, for one, thought that the presentation was interesting (it was in my field of interest), plus we got to see a new alpha-chip workstation in action.
This month I would like to pass along a secret code I happened across, that could be of some use to anyone having to deal with software marketing propaganda.
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WHAT VENDORS SAY... |
WHAT THEY MEAN... |
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Breakthrough |
We finally got it to compile. |
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Easy to use |
Has no useful features. |
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Internet-ready |
In lab tests, did not crash if an IP stack was present. |
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Internet-aware |
Responds to pings. |
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Web-enabled |
Can launch a browser. |
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Web-enabled |
Can launch a browser. |
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Java-enabled |
The old version didn't compile, so we're rewriting it. |
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Familiar Windows interface |
Creates exception errors. |
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Comprehensive software suite |
Unrelated tools crammed into a disk. |
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Supports mission-critical apps. |
We over charge our customers. |
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Feature will be in next release |
I just thought of it. |
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Feature is in early beta |
I thought of it on the way over to meet with you. |
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Porting to Windows NT . |
We can't think of any new features so we're following the herd |
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No-charge upgrade for existing customers. |
We can't get the old stuff to work either. |
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Being sold thru distribution |
Don't call us if you have problems. |
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Seeking new vertical markets |
Our old customers won't talk to us. |
See you at the July meeting.
Kevin